My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
