Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Can I color on your dick again?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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