He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I still have a little drunk in my system
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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