the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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