I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
