this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
