I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
