Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
