I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
