Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
