My nipple is on Facebook.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
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