Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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