Texts From Last Night

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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk

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  (864): you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk http://tfl.nu/iikf
  Replies (10) Good night (4744) Bad night (544)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.

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  (803): Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning. http://tfl.nu/55ug
  Replies (12) Good night (4472) Bad night (1008)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives

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  (732): her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives http://tfl.nu/13r9
  Replies (15) Good night (4045) Bad night (1178)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"

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  (804): when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again" http://tfl.nu/ygm1
  Replies (12) Good night (7521) Bad night (1940)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.

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  (804): I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/q9i5
  Replies (8) Good night (1201) Bad night (2918)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.

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  (303): Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila. http://tfl.nu/tq95
  Replies (8) Good night (2561) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"

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  (302): She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!" http://tfl.nu/kmdw
  Replies (6) Good night (2506) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on

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  (812): Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on http://tfl.nu/glb4
  Replies (4) Good night (1491) Bad night (669)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.

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  (570): Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer. http://tfl.nu/iju5
  Replies (12) Good night (1665) Bad night (1238)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him

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  (757): Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him http://tfl.nu/gn0k
  Replies (13) Good night (1054) Bad night (2257)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.

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  (850): Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again. http://tfl.nu/pnzj
  Replies (1) Good night (1883) Bad night (875)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.

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  (480): library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch. http://tfl.nu/phk6
  Replies (6) Good night (1022) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!

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  (317): Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour! http://tfl.nu/4bwc
  Replies (13) Good night (1445) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.

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  (801): At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it. http://tfl.nu/2oiv
  Replies (4) Good night (367) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?

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  (315): is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it? http://tfl.nu/ubf5
  Replies (5) Good night (280) Bad night (426)

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