well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.