did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking