Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean