Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...

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(419): I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady... http://tfl.nu/mk09

Replies (1) Good night (1268) Bad night (422)
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(650): View more from California

we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA

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(650): we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA http://tfl.nu/902z

Replies (36) Good night (2985) Bad night (903)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"

(401): View more from Rhode Island

So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.

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(401): So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch" (401): So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim." (1-401): Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor. http://tfl.nu/7e2l

Replies (26) Good night (2875) Bad night (980)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.

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(615): just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here. http://tfl.nu/npdf

Replies (19) Good night (852) Bad night (4553)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.

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(708): Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected. http://tfl.nu/ilck

Replies (53) Good night (1206) Bad night (10716)
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(330): View more from Ohio

just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.

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(330): just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people. http://tfl.nu/iaht

Replies (12) Good night (13379) Bad night (1177)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week

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(973): i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week http://tfl.nu/mj5j

Replies (7) Good night (1029) Bad night (2511)
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(727): View more from Florida

Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?

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(727): Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail? http://tfl.nu/rsvd

Replies (3) Good night (1963) Bad night (817)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.

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(513): Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair. http://tfl.nu/sr76

Replies (2) Good night (892) Bad night (1847)
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(903): View more from Texas

You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.

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(903): You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss. http://tfl.nu/y1tc

Replies (5) Good night (515) Bad night (1274)
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(310): View more from California

I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.

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(310): I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it. http://tfl.nu/9g38

Replies (0) Good night (691) Bad night (293)
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(513): View more from Ohio

No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?

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(513): No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand? http://tfl.nu/roqu

Replies (2) Good night (807) Bad night (256)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.

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(815): Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for. http://tfl.nu/bju4

Replies (2) Good night (693) Bad night (237)
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(925): View more from California

But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....

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(925): But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age..... http://tfl.nu/e96s

Replies (2) Good night (248) Bad night (496)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.

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(201): Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off. http://tfl.nu/s8w5

Replies (10) Good night (257) Bad night (989)

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