Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

id be glad to

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(804): id be glad to http://tfl.nu/spx7

Replies (19) Good night (1942) Bad night (1549)
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(315): View more from New York

covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly

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(315): covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly http://tfl.nu/6dbu

Replies (5) Good night (2529) Bad night (1320)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class

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(717): I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class http://tfl.nu/9lx5

Replies (67) Good night (1195) Bad night (5134)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.

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(860): i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life. http://tfl.nu/14qy

Replies (49) Good night (773) Bad night (6665)
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(718): View more from New York

They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule

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(718): They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule http://tfl.nu/5d7q

Replies (44) Good night (1171) Bad night (3492)
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(361): View more from Texas

At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?

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(361): At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now? http://tfl.nu/lbi5

Replies (21) Good night (4624) Bad night (820)
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(207): View more from Maine

Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....

(617): View more from Massachusetts

I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11

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(207): Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night..... (617): I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11 http://tfl.nu/wa6u

Replies (36) Good night (7798) Bad night (1621)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.

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(859): Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out. http://tfl.nu/0ttb

Replies (23) Good night (6299) Bad night (1725)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..

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(704): CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME.. http://tfl.nu/vguq

Replies (4) Good night (3544) Bad night (1011)
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(314): View more from Missouri

one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.

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(314): one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this. http://tfl.nu/eiot

Replies (6) Good night (1431) Bad night (1305)
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(281): View more from Texas

And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.

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(281): And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways. http://tfl.nu/b6k4

Replies (3) Good night (1441) Bad night (572)
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(712): View more from Iowa

Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.

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(712): Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled. http://tfl.nu/c6e6

Replies (5) Good night (1655) Bad night (627)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

Fair enough.

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(860): If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face. (1-860): Fair enough. http://tfl.nu/elro

Replies (0) Good night (779) Bad night (500)
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(585): View more from New York

He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.

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(585): He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to. http://tfl.nu/t8ue

Replies (3) Good night (845) Bad night (296)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.

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(203): the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law. http://tfl.nu/eqhh

Replies (6) Good night (837) Bad night (267)

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