Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize