I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
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You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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