problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
