I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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