AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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