Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize