I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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