i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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