Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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