ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You were trust falling into bushes
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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