What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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