why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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