butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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