I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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