And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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