Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
