why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
