I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
