I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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