Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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