Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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