I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
