Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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