Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
