this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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