Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We named our party play list daddy issues
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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