I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
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Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
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This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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