I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
false alarm. still invincible.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
