he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize