Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
