Have you finally orgasmed yet?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
