No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We talked him into tasing himself.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
