the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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