Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
