So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
be right there i have to get my cape
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize