He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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