omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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