i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
