she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
