I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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