I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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