Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
