Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
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She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
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I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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