I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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