the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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