Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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