Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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