You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
