Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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