Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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