About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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